I am super-busy. I really am.

I have a busy school schedule, which includes classes and all of the assignments that accompany a fullload semester. I work 25-30 hours per week, and I have a household to maintain. In addition to this, I also maintain a pretty full social calendar. It is a nice life, but I wish there were more hours in the day to get everything done that I need to.

I had a brilliant idea; I placed a “want ad” on my Facebook page:

“Accepting applications for a personal assistant/chauffeur. Low pay and no benefits, but I will speak to you in public.”

I got varied responses, most sarcastic, but no takers. So, I upped the ante, and I added:

“I am also adding personal chef and trainer to the job description. In return for the added job duties, I will speak to you and two members of your family in public.”

No takers. Only one person responded, but he said that he could not cook, and that he was only qualified to be my personal trainer. I did not schedule an interview. I needed someone who could handle all of my tasks.

Now I am sure you are asking yourself, “How could a college student need a personal assistant?” Trust me, I do. I like a meticulously cleaned house. I cook nearly every meal, and I like fresh, clean laundry. It is difficult to do all of this and maintain my schedule as it is. I sleep very little. I need someone to take care of my responsibilities for me so that I can focus on other things like my social life, or getting a manicure, or really anything that does not involve being responsible.

A personal assistant would relieve me of my important tasks so that I would not have to be so organized and worry so much. If I had a chauffeur, I could study or return phone calls as I was on my way to class or just out running errands. I could pay them very little but make them feel just welcome and appreciated enough that they would stick around for awhile.

Because the Facebook idea did not pan out so well, I came up with another brilliant idea. I called my mom and explained my case. She was not receptive.

I gave up. If none of my friends or my own mother were interested in being my low-paid assistant with what I considered excellent benefits, what was I to do?

So, I came up with another brilliant idea. I would just take care of everything myself for a number of reasons, but the first being is that if I take care of things myself, then I know it is done correctly. Yes, I am really busy, and I have very little free time to do what I really want to do, but this will not last forever. The benefit of being my own personal assistant is that I will speak to myself in public.

Now, all joking aside, my original offer still stands: Accepting applications for a personal assistant/ chauffeur. Low pay and no benefits, but I will speak to you in public.